The Incredible Journey of Eternal Soulmates
Life has been difficult lately – not just here in Eretz Yisrael but everywhere. And when life is difficult all over, people have a tendency to lose hope and get depressed. They begin by wondering if their life has any meaning or if Hashem bothers to pay any attention to them. And they end by saying to themselves that they’re too insignificant to make any difference, chas v’shalom.
But the truth is that our lives make a big difference and that we aren’t insignificant at all. In fact, all of Hashem’s thoughts are on us day and night, as we say during Tikkun Chatzot: וַיֹּאמֶר אֲדֹנָ-י אָהַבְתִּי אֶתְכֶם. כָּל יִשְׁעִי וְכָל חֶפְצִי אָשׁוּב לְרַחֶמְכֶם (And Adon-ai said, ‘I have loved you. My whole intent and desire is to return and be merciful to you). Hashem’s whole desire? Yes. And this underscores the famous statement from R’ Nachman when he said (Likutei Moharan II:78), אֵין שׁוּם יִאוּשׁ בָּעוֹלָם כְּלָל (There’s no despair in the world at all). None. How can that be?
To help us understand just how much Hashem loves us and how He never gives up on us, we’re going to take a journey, a journey following a pair of souls that were meant for each other from the six days of creation.
We’ll pick up the story with Avraham’s parents. We’re familiar with Avraham’s father, Terach, because he’s mentioned in the Torah. But who was Avraham’s mother? It is taught in Bava Batra 91a: וְאָמַר רַב חָנָן בַּר רָבָא אָמַר רַב: אִמֵּיהּ דְּאַבְרָהָם – אֲמַּתְלַאי בַּת כַּרְנְבוֹ (Rav Chanan bar Rava said in the name of Rav, The mother of Avraham – Amatlai bat Karnevo). What were they like? They were idol-worshipers, as the Rambam states in Hilchot Avodah Zarah 1:3: וְלֹא הָיָה לוֹ מְלַמֵּד וְלֹא מוֹדִיעַ דָּבָר אֶלָּא מֻשְׁקָע בְּאוּר כַּשְׂדִּים בֵּין עוֹבְדֵי כּוֹכָבִים הַטִּפְּשִׁים וְאָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ וְכָל הָעָם עוֹבְדֵי כּוֹכָבִים (He [Avraham] didn’t have a teacher nor anyone to inform him, rather he was sunk in Ur Kasdim among the foolish idol worshipers and his father and his mother and all the people were idol-worshipers). And yet, Terach and Amatlai had very lofty souls. How do we know? They merited to bring the holy soul of Avraham Avinu into the world.
Moving ahead a few generations, we read an interesting teaching about Iyov in Bava Batra 15b: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים: אִיּוֹב בִּימֵי יַעֲקֹב הָיָה וְדִינָה בַּת יַעֲקֹב נָשָׂא (Some say: Iyov was in the days of Ya’akov and he married Dinah bat Ya’akov). What does this have to do with Terach and Amatlai? The Chesed L’Avraham reveals the connection (Mayan 5, 25): ודע כי גלגול תרח ואשתו שהם אביו ואמו של אברהם נתגלגלו באיוב ואשתו, כי אמו של אברהם אמתלאי בת כרנבו נתגלגלה בדינה בת לאה ונשאת לאיוב (Know that Terach and his wife, Avraham’s father and mother, reincarnated in Iyov and his wife, for Avraham’s mother, Amatlai bat Karnevo, reincarnated in Dinah bat Leah, who married Iyov). The Chesed L’Avraham (Mayan 4, 49) reveals to us more secrets about these two individuals. Dinah arrived in Egypt at the age of 40, well after she had given birth to Osnat (from Shechem ben Chamor) and Shaul (from her brother, Shimon) at the age of 8 and 10, respectively. A year after she arrived in Egypt, Iyov was born, and by the age of 18, he was already a prophet and a chasid (even though he wasn’t Jewish, he was a grandson of Nachor, brother of Avraham). But Dinah was also a prophet, and in addition to those great qualities that Iyov had, she knew that he was born circumcised (that is why he is called תָּם [tam, whole, complete, perfect] in Iyov 1:1). When Iyov was 18 years old, he moved to Egypt and they got married, she being 41 years his senior. However, we are told that Ya’akov would never have consented to the marriage if he had been alive at the time (he lived only 17 years in Egypt, and they got married two years after he was niftar). Why not? Even though Iyov was a prophet, a chasid and circumcised from birth, he was still considered ‘uncircumcised’ because he never had a drop of blood taken for the sake of conversion.
Therefore, Terach and Amatlai came back as Iyov and Dinah, which was quite an upgrade from their original idol-worshiping lives. Nevertheless, since Iyov had not formally converted, their marriage was not in kedushah.
Taking a closer look at Dinah, we find that she had seven husbands (Mayan 5, 25): עוד מצאתי כתוב שדינה בת יעקב נשאת לז’ אלופים, א’ שכם בן חמור, ב’ שמעון בן יעקב, ג’ איוב, ד’ נבל, ה’ דוד, ו’ טורנוסרופס, ז’ רבי עקיבא (Further, I found written that Dinah bat Ya’akov was married to seven great men, Shechem ben Chamor, Shimon ben Ya’akov, Iyov, Naval, David, Turnus Rufus, and R’ Akiva). We already mentioned Dinah’s marriage with Shechem, Shimon and Iyov, but Naval and David?! What’s going on here? They lived hundreds of years after the Exodus! The only woman who was married to both Naval and David was Avigail, an amazing woman and prophet in her own right (Megillah 15a). Could it be that Avigal was really Dinah? And to make matters more complicated, Turnus Rufus was the Roman official who ordered the imprisonment and execution of R’ Akiva, both of whom lived about 1000 years after David ha-Melech!
Above we brought down that Dinah gave birth to Osnat at the age of 8, subsequently married her brother, Shimon, and gave birth to Shaul at the age of 10. The full quote from the Chesed L’Avraham is as follows: וכשהיתה דינה בת ז’ שנים נתעברה משכם בן חמור וילדה את אסנת כשהיתה בת שמונה, וכשהיא היתה בת תשעה נשאת לשמעון אחיה וילדה את שאול בן הכנענית (When Dinah was 7 years old, she got mixed up with Shechem ben Chamor, and gave birth to Osnat when she was 8; and when she was 9, she married Shimon her brother, and gave birth to Shaul ben ha-Cana’anit). The Mei ha-Shiloach writes (Chelek 1, Vayishlach 1): והיינו דאיתא בכתבי האריז”ל [ספר הגילגולים פרק נ’] כי שכם נתגלגל אח”כ בזמרי בן סלוא בן דינה (It is brought down in the writings of the Arizal [Sefer ha-Gilgulim 50] that Shechem later reincarnated in Zimri ben Salu ben Dinah). Shechem, who took Dinah when she was 7 years old, reincarnated in a descendant of Dinah. What’s going on here?!
The Gemara provides the answer (Sanhedrin 82b): א”ר יוחנן חמשה שמות יש לו זמרי ובן סלוא ושאול ובן הכנענית ושלומיאל בן צורי שדי (R’ Yochanan said, He [Zimri] has five names: Zimri, ben Salu, Shaul, ben ha-Cana’anit, and Shelumiel ben Tzuri-Shaddai). As stated in the Midrash Tanchuma (Pinchas 2:1), there are really only three names here, Zimri ben Salu, Shaul ben ha-Cana’anit and Shelumiel ben Tzuri-Shaddai, but they were divided into five for the purposes of making a drasha. That being said, the Gemara continues: ומה שמו שלומיאל בן צורי שדי שמו (What is his [actual] name? Shelumiel ben Tzuri-Shaddai is his [actual] name). This is an astonishing Gemara. We already learned that Shechem reincarnated in Zimri ben Salu, who is also called ‘ben Dinah’. Do we understand what’s going on here? Shechem had relations with Dinah but was killed by Shimon and Levi. Afterward, Dinah insisted on marrying Shimon. He obliged, but only after Shechem’s daughter, Osnat, was born. Through Shimon, Dinah gave birth to a son, Shaul ben ha-Cana’anit, Dinah being called ha-Cana’anit, i.e. the Cana’anite woman. Who is this Shaul? He is none other than the one who would later become known as ‘Zimri ben Salu’, but he is also ‘ben Dinah’. To sum up, the Maharsha in his Chidushei Agadot on Sanhedrin 82b comes to the inevitable conclusion that Zimri was Shaul ha-Cana’anit, and that he must have been at least 250 years old when he took the Midianite woman, Cozbi bat Tzur. This means that when Shechem reincarnated in Zimri, he reincarnated in Dinah and Shimon’s son, Shaul.
Now that we have seen that Zimri was a gilgul of Shechem, what about Cozbi? Could it be that she was a gilgul of Dinah? The Seder ha-Dorot (Seder Yemot Olam 2206) writes: שכם נתגלגל בשור דגדעון…ובזמרי וכזבי גלגול דינה (Shechem reincarnated in Gidon’s bull and in Zimri, and Cozbi was a gilgul of Dinah). It’s also written in Avodat Yisrael (Pinchas 2): כי זמרי היה גלגול שכם בן חמור וכזבי גלגול דינה (For Zimri was the gilgul of Shechem ben Chamor, and Cozbi was the gilgul of Dinah). And since we learned in last week’s article The Danger of Relying on Self-Evaluation that the Mei ha-Shiloach (Chelek 1, Pinchas) brought down from the Arizal that Zimri and Cozbi were soulmates from the six days of creation, it follows that Shechem and Dinah were the same soulmates, as were Iyov and Dinah, as were Terach and Amatlai. If you’re finding this difficult to understand, that’s okay. You’re not alone.
Anyway, we now come to the final step in the process. Up to this point, we have seen that at every union, there was a problem. Terach and Amatlai were both idol-worshipers. Iyov and Dinah shouldn’t have married because Iyov hadn’t converted. Shechem should never have taken Dinah because he took Dinah before his circumcision. And Zimri and Cozbi should never have had relations because she hadn’t converted. Will this pair of souls ever get it right?
As we quoted above from the Chesed L’Avraham, Dinah had married Turnus Rufus as well as R’ Akiva. Now it’s time to address this riddle. First of all, a little backstory. It is brought down by the Ran to Nedarim 50b that Turnus Rufus, the Roman governor of Eretz Yisrael in the days of Emperor Hadrian, used to debate R’ Akiva on religious and theological topics. R’ Akiva would always get the better of him, embarrassing him in the presence of the Emperor. Coming home one day, he was in a foul mood and when asked about it by his wife, he explained to her that he had been humiliated by R’ Akiva – again! She suggested that the way to get back at R’ Akiva would be for her to seduce him and tempt him to sin. Turnus Rufus liked the idea and the plan was hatched. She decked herself out and went after R’ Akiva.
The Chesed L’Avraham writes (Mayan 5, 25): זמרי נתגלגל בר’ עקיבא והכ”ד אלף שמתו במגפה היו הכ”ד אלף תלמידים של ר’ עקיבא שמתו בין פסח לעצרת. ואשת טורנוסרופס היתה גילגול כזבי עצמה (Zimri was reincarnated in R’ Akiva, and the 24,000 that died in the plague [in the aftermath of the fiasco with the Midianite women] were the 24,000 students of R’ Akiva who died between Pesach and Shavuot; and the wife of Turnus Rufus was a gilgul of Cozbi herself). Before unpacking this revelation, it is worth noting that the Megaleh Amukot in Va’Etchanan 88 reveals in the name of the Arizal, that the number of people that Shimon and Levi killed in the matter of Shechem and Dinah was also 24,000. (We shouldn’t be surprised to learn some day that they were the same 24,000 souls.) Anyway, the main point is that R’ Akiva was a gilgul of Zimri, and the wife of Turnus Rufus was a gilgul of Cozbi. Hashem seems to be setting up this pair of souls for another chance.
So what happened when the wife of Turnus Rufus met up with R’ Akiva? The Gemara relates (Avodah Zarah 20a): ואף ר”ע ראה אשת טורנוסרופוס הרשע רק שחק ובכה (And even R’ Akiva [when] he saw the wife of Turnus Rufus the Wicked, he spat, laughed and cried). The Ran tells us that she asked him the meaning for each of his reactions. R’ Akiva told her only the meaning of the spitting and crying. He did not tell her the meaning of the laughing. Nevertheless, the Gemara there does tell us: רק שהיתה באה מטיפה סרוחה שחק דעתידה דמגיירא ונסיב לה בכה דהאי שופרא בלי עפרא (He spat because she came from a stinky drop [of semen], he laughed because in the future she would convert and [then] they would get married, and he cried because this [i.e. her] beauty would eventually rot in the dirt). Now you can see why he didn’t tell her why he laughed. He didn’t want to influence her bechirah.
What happened next was the successful culmination of over 2000 years worth of history for these soulmates! She was so impressed by his kedushah that she felt remorse immediately and asked him whether it was possible for her to do teshuvah. Responding that it was possible, she went on to convert and they did, in fact, get married in kedushah. She remained R’ Akiva’s loyal wife even as her ex-husband, Turnus Rufus, ordered his imprisonment and had him tortured to death.
This whole incredible story shows us just how much Hashem loved the two souls of Avraham’s parents. He loved them so much that He brought them back in Shechem, Iyov and Dinah, and again in Zimri and Cozbi, and finally in R’ Akiva and Mrs. Turnus Rufus. Why? To keep giving these soulmates an opportunity to do it right and wed in kedushah! Therefore, if you’re ever feeling down and wondering about your soulmate, just know that Hashem loves you and your soulmates’ souls very much. Hashem never gave up on Terach and Amatlai, and He’ll never give up on you and your soulmate. Therefore, even though it may be tough sometimes, don’t give up on Him. He’ll see you through til the end and you will marry your soulmate in kedushah.
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